There was a Ben Harper song with a lyric that went something like this, “What makes me strong, is to know what makes me weak.” Now, I’m pretty sure he didn’t come up with that concept, but I think he’s right on the money. If we want to be strong, have healthy relationships, be successful financially, or reach any goal, it really does start by understanding where you are weak and having the humility to learn and grow.
Often we like to pretend that “everything is awesome.” (Also a song lyric.) We like other people to think our life is as great as our Instagram feed. Such a life is a life of fantasy. It’s not real or progressing. It’s just pretending and wishful thinking.
The strongest, most successful people around address their sources of weakness, pain, and failure. When I started my first job as an Engineer, during orientation the speaker told us, “You know this is not an exam. If you don’t know how to do something, we have people here who you can ask. You don’t have to do it yourself. We work here as a team.” Life is not an exam.
If you want to be a sporting champion, you need a coach. Then you need to listen. It’s the same if you need to work on your finances, relationships, health, business, or leadership. You want to be strong? Then ask for help. Now you don’t have to be weird about it. Don’t go to someone and say, “Will you mentor me, oh wise one?” Start with a question. “Hey, I noticed your business is going great. What’s your journey been like?” If they are a red-blooded human being they’ll love talking about their success. Listen and you’ll be better for it.
To seek out help, a support group, mentors, and coaches takes a great amount of self-awareness and humility. It takes looking at yourself honestly, which may mean accepting some hard truths and having to stop making excuses. It also takes humility. Humility means you are willing to admit you are not the greatest thing in the world… hard to imagine, I know. It means admitting that someone else has a better idea than you. But when you do this, you stop fantasizing about a better life and start building one.
Peter (a disciple of Jesus) tells us, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ James 4:6
The universe is set up upside down. To be the best version of yourself, humble yourself.
Kim Anthony is a Family man, Engineer and the Pastor of Life&Legacy Church at Hillcrest. He believes people are ultimately on a quest for connection and purpose and is intentional in providing a platform for people to thrive. www.lifeandlegacy.church